Be still my heart.
Ryan and Stacy I haven't even began to type out your letter and my heart fills with emotion as I try to fight back tears of what I would like to say. Both of you are my dream come true. You have taught me to so much in the short years we have together. Motherhood can be very trying but it is most rewarding.
Ryan when I found out we were pregnant with you I could not believe it. I was so excited and I couldn't wait to have you and hold you in my arms. Since the day you were born we have been inseparable. I remember staring at you and I just couldn't believe you were mine. If ever I thought I knew what unconditional love was before you I was wrong because the love you feel for you children is so powerful and unlike any other. You are the true definition of a mama's boy. Just the thought of you growing up makes me tear up. Ryan you are kind, thoughtful, honest, determined and forgiving. This past year you started Pre-Kinder and I wasn't sure I could handle you being so far from me. You have friends and your so kind with them. You talk to me every night about them and how you love school. You may not like to wake up in the morning but you like school. Your learning to be a good big brother to your sister. Oh I know she wants everything you have but that's life baby boy. She'll grow up and one day you will want everything she has. I love how when I tell both of you to get in the truck you open the door and let her get in first, like a true gentlemen. There are days when both of you fight all day and its okay you will have fight probably the rest of your lives but at the end of the day I can catch you both sharing an Ipad playing or watching a video, that makes my heart really happy. Ryan my dreams for you are big, I often wonder what you will choose to be. The one thing I want you to know is that mama loves you and will go above and beyond to help you achieve any and all your dreams, so DREAM BIG my little man.
Stacy, my princess. I had never met a real-life princess till the day you were born. I wanted a girl so bad when I was pregnant with you that I convinced myself you were a boy till week 27. I loved your brother so much I was unsure how I could possibly split that love in two and when you were born you just stole my heart. I remember holding you and just melting into my chair because you were mine. You were perfect. You and I too would be inseparable. Ryan, You and I were now a team! You are very much a princess, thoughtful, loving, sassy, funny, and spontaneous. I would say you are most like mommy because you are fearless, you jump into every situation with both feet and figure it out along the way. Because you are fearless does not mean you need mommy any less, at least 3 times a day you come over to me and say HOLD ME, it melts my heart. When Ryan started school I worried how much you would miss him. The first two days you cried but days three you were fine. I like that when Ryan is at school we have alone time and you have alone time to grow into your own person, with your own likes. You are often consumed in boy world of Ryan as he runs around the house pretending to be a superhero, ninja and batman, but now you have your own time to play what you want and when he gets home you serve him the tea you have been dying to serve him all day. You are a diva and love to play dress up and lately you are loving makeup. There are days when mama is not feeling well and you tell me you will take care of me, that alone makes me feel better. You are growing so fast that I often find myself grasping at time to slow down. In a few days you will turn 3. Just like Ryan I have big Dreams for you and I want you to DREAM BIG and know that mama will do anything she can to help you make them happen. I love you will all my heart and soul my sweet curly haired princess.
I may not be a perfect mom but through it all I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for both you. I love you!
Love,
Mommy
